So the G-8 summit starts this week 80 miles south of here.

And now we’re all waiting for the crowds of dirty, godless, pinko hippy protesters to descend on our beautiful downtown Savannah. I was downtown yesterday, and it was eerily deserted. Except for the cops. We can’t forget the cops. There was a couple of geared-up riot cops on almost literally every corner. Every couple of minutes a helicopter with a sniper hanging out of the window buzzed by overhead. While we were walking down Bay St., a phalanx of at least twenty squad cars rolled by. You’ll also find military hummvees parked in strategic locations throughout.

It makes you wonder – are we expecting protesters, or terrorists? Well, according to the good people of Savannah, there’s no difference! And there’s more rumors flying around than in a junior high classroom – “The police already found and disarmed a couple of car bombs! They’re just keeping it quiet to avoid panic!” “A bunch of terrorists have already infiltrated the city, and they’re planning to sell unsuspecting people gasoline bombs disguised as teddy bears!”

Just today, Antar called me and told me that they’d found a suspected bomb downtown. It turned out to be a harmless manilla envelope somebody dropped in a mailbox. And then they evacuated Vinnie Van Go-Go’s because a homeless guy left a bag behind.

According to the paper, they’re expecting anywhere from 30,000 to 100,000 protesters to come down. So they brought in 25,000 cops. It makes you wonder if they’ll assign a cop “buddy” to every protester or two.

This city is pissing itself. It’d be almost funny, if it weren’t so retarded.

I plan on taking a tour about the city tomorrow to see if anything interesting actually happens. Pray for me, guys!


And thus, a little photo essay…

Metal barriers across Whitaker St. barely stem the tide of protestors.

The Gap, of course, was one of the first stores to be looted and burned.

Traffic cones help organize the massive crush of protestor’s automobile traffic.

More cones. Not the metal barrier and soldiers around the Radisson in the background. Will they be able to hold back the crowds?

Flatbeds move in more temporary barriers.

Stacks of temporary barriers. Will they be enough?

Crowds of police and soldiers assemble the barriers.

Another view.

An NBC truck captures the action around City Hall.

The aforementioned “action.”

A picturesque view of City Hall. Note the crowds of chanting protestors.

A couple of our nation’s troops at their posts.

The beautiful Westin hotel, across the river on Hutchinson Island.

A line of newsvans on River St., transmitting the events of the day to an eager, news-starved public.

A clever vendor takes advantage of the crowds of protestors by selling that one commodity that never loses demand – water. Not the sign that spells water in several different languages.

An armed Coast Guard skiff patrols Our City’s waterway.

A police boat follows close behind.

And our last line of defense – the “Stop the Lie” guy. His sign says “Jesus or Death” on the other side.

Our Nation’s troop interrogate a suspect.

More barrier-erection.

“You can’t park there! Or… maybe you can.”

Even the chaos can’t stop Gregory “The Famous Artist” Myrick from making a sale.

Starbucks, of course, did not survive the onset of fire-bombing protestors. The barristas were dragged outside and lynched.

A steel fence protects a city government building.

This is as close as you can get.

Pay no attention to that open gate!

Cops patrol Whitaker St. behind the fence.

He’s carrying a “303” – essentially, a heavy-duty paintball gun. Don’t mess with this guy!

The federal building on Oglethorpe, near O-House.

A Humvee patrols SCAD’s Orlean’s Hall. Thank god all the students got sent home and didn’t suffer this chaos.

A hotel near Forsyth Park boards up its windows.

Nothing can penetrate our plywood armor!

The angry crowd’s surround the Forsyth fountain. Yes, they’re peeing in it.

Cops keep a wary eye on the crowds of protestors in Forsyth, from the seat of their golf carts.

The mob will not relent!